Lonely

Spiders and wind, that's where my memories lie.

It's been a while since I decided to pop onto here and make a post.  A lot has been going through my mind and my priorities haven't been on track.  I haven't been feeling well either.  I can't sleep enough, and my appetite is being a constant bother.  I need to set myself up on a sleeping schedule...and possibly actually go to sleep at a decent hour...for the eating...not sure what I'm going to do with that.  I haven't been eating a lot lately because there hasn't been a plentiful bounty of food in my house lately, and Toasted Cheese and Peanut Butter sandwiches and milk gets really tiring to the point where I gag while eating it.  

A lot of it I'll chalk up to being the lonely gamer I am.  The sleeping I mean.  I have insecurities and I feel the darkness of my room swallow me whole each night.  It scares me...I latch onto who ever's voice I can contact on my phone...  Enough on that...

Above is a picture I drew a while back.  This picture was drawn for a friend, and the caption has a special meaning for me, and I hope it does for my friend.  I really want to get back into drawing again.  I love drawing my friends from FFXI and hearing if they liked it or not.  Some of my work hasn't been the pg-13 type either. I do get embarrassed about drawing those type of pictures, but I don't go slutty or drawn porn if you must ask.

On another happier note...I love to sing.  Singing brightens my day like no other.  I sit at my computer and sing for hours on end.  I play picture in my head of music videos I would love to make if I had any talents in animation at all. /endhappyrant

I has it.

I have been doing a lot of work on FFXI lately.  This is also a reason I haven't been posting either.  This took me five days, with about four to six hours work on each day doing this Cookbook quest in the Valkrum Maw.  The results from this was...  11 SAM 6 THF 2 BST 8 WHM.  All Leg Seals (which clog my inventory -WHM of course)  After I had done this...I had to do some new Abyssea battles to get the Resistance Credits points so I can go get my Orison Pantaloons.  That in itself took me two days work.  The battles were very short...and very rewarding.  I only needed 1k points to get and it took about an hour to get maybe (battle only).  This is where the drama starts...  After I got to level 83, I booked it to the Moogle and started the trial.  I was so excited...and then I went to trade my pants (with trial) and the seals to the moogle...and he tells me "I only do armor...talk to the other moogle."  At that point I went and talked to the other moogle and he in returned told me "I only do weapons...talk tot he other moogle."  WTF???  I looked it up on my trial and it didn't exactly tell me what I had to do.  After an hour or logging and re-logging, trading, and crying (not really), I waited for someone who had an upgraded piece and asked them how they got the moogle to give you your item.  A fellow linkshell member happened to run by with a peice upgraded, and I jumped all over him like flies to honey.

"How did you complete your trial?  The moogle wont take my seals"

"You trade the seals to the crate next to the moogle..."

ooooh.... /facepalm

At that point I traded my seals and got my pants.  I was so happy I chair danced...yes...chair danced.  My anger gone, and all that was left was my happiness expressed in a wriggling dance in my chair.

I'm not sure what I want to talk about from here on out...I haven't been doing much lately except for the stuff listed above.  So for the moment, I'll end this bug here and move onto more music...and speaking of music...check out the blog before this one...it has some awesome youtube talent.